What if one of the biggest misunderstandings about faith is the belief that faithful people don’t experience fear?
Many of us grew up hearing faith and fear discussed as opposites. The message often sounded something like this: if you had enough faith, you wouldn’t be afraid. As a result, many LDS parents quietly wonder if their fear is evidence that something is wrong with them spiritually.
I want to offer a different perspective that faith and fear can exist at the same time.
In fact, some of the most faithful mothers I know are carrying fear. They pray every day, trust God. They continue to love their children. Yet they still worry about the future.
Fear doesn’t mean your faith is gone.
It means you’re human.
Fear Doesn't Mean Your Faith Is Weak
Fear usually shows up when something matters deeply to us.
When your child makes choices you never expected, fear shows up.
Or when your child leaves the Church, fear shows up.
When the future feels uncertain, fear shows up.
The question isn’t whether fear will appear. The question is what happens when it does.
Does fear get the final word?
Or can faith sit beside that fear and remind you that God is still aware, still present, and still working in ways you cannot yet see?
That distinction matters.
Because many mothers spend years fighting fear when what they really need is a different relationship with it.
The Snake Warning That Changed My Hike
Not long ago, I pulled into San Tan Regional Park for a morning hike.
As I rolled down my window to show my pass, I noticed a sign posted near the entrance.
“The snakes are out.”
Well, that was all it took.
Before seeing that sign, I wasn’t thinking about snakes at all. However, the moment I read those words, my entire hike changed.
The trail was wide, the weather was beautiful.
Yet suddenly every twisted twig looked suspicious.
Every dark rock caught my attention.
Every rustle in the brush sounded like something slithering nearby.
My eyes stopped looking for beauty and started searching for danger.
And my brain wasn’t interested in making distinctions.
How Fear Shows Up When a Child Leaves the Church
Fear works the same way in LDS parenting.
When a child steps away from the Church, fear immediately starts scanning.
It gathers evidence starts predicting outcomes.
It creates stories.
Fear asks:
What if this never changes? Did I fail? Are they lost forever?
What if things get worse?
Before long, fear narrows your vision.
Instead of noticing what is happening, you start focusing on everything that might happen.
You stop seeing the whole story.
If that sounds familiar, I want you to know you’re not alone.
Many of the mothers I work with feel exhausted from carrying the weight of those fears every single day.
If fear has been stealing your peace and making it difficult to enjoy your relationship with your child, I invite you to schedule a free coaching call with me. Together, we can create more calm, more clarity, and more confidence as you navigate this journey.
The Father Who Believed and Still Struggled
In Mark chapter 9 a father brings his suffering son to Jesus. For years he has watched his child struggle. He has tried everything he knows to help.
When Jesus speaks with him, the father says:
“If thou canst do any thing, have compassion on us, and help us.”
Jesus responds:
“If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.”
Then comes one of the most honest statements in scripture:
“Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.”
I love this verse because the father doesn’t pretend, he doesn’t claim perfect faith and he doesn’t hide his fear.
Instead, he tells the truth.
I believe and I’m struggling.
That is what makes this story so powerful.
Faith and uncertainty are sitting in the same heart.
Trust and fear are sharing the same space.
Yet Jesus doesn’t reject him.
Jesus helps him.
Faith Doesn't Require Certainty
President Russell M. Nelson taught: “Faith in Jesus Christ is the greatest power available to us in this life.”
He doesn’t say faith removes every fear or faith eliminates uncertainty.
Instead, faith gives us strength to move forward despite uncertainty.
Many mothers think faith means certainty.
However, faith often looks more like trust.
Faith says, “I don’t know how this will turn out, but I know God is still here.”
Fear says:
Something bad could happen.
Faith says:
Something bad could happen, and God will still be with me.
That is a very different conversation.
Sometimes you need a safe place to process what you’re carrying and learn how to quiet the fear that keeps taking over your thoughts.
If that’s where you are today, I’d love to help.
What If Fear Isn't Showing You the Future?
As I continued hiking that morning, I realized something important. The snakes weren’t controlling my experience. My attention was.
The mountains were still there, the trail was still beautiful.
Yet fear had narrowed my focus until all I could see were possible threats.
Parenting adult children can feel exactly the same. Fear convinces us that one chapter is the entire book. One decision becomes the whole story. The struggle becomes the final outcome.
But what if fear isn’t showing you the future? What if it’s only showing you your fears?
How many things have you worried about that never happened?
How many futures has your mind created that never came to pass?
Let Fear Ride Along, But Don't Let It Drive
I think this is where many of us get stuck. We believe letting go of fear means eliminating it completely.
However, I don’t think that’s realistic. Fear will continue to show up from time to time.
The goal isn’t to throw fear out of the car it’s to move fear out of the driver’s seat.
Fear can ride along but faith gets to steer.
When faith is steering, you continue moving forward even when you’re scared.
That’s exactly what Joshua was asked to do.
In Joshua 1:9, the Lord said:
“Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid.”
God didn’t remove Joshua’s uncertainty. Instead, He invited Joshua to move through it.
President Dieter F. Uchtdorf taught that the Lord expects us to keep trying.
Sometimes faith is simply taking the next step when certainty isn’t available.
Finding Peace Even When You Don't Have Answers
If you’ve been using fear as evidence that your faith is weak, I hope you’ll reconsider that belief.
Many mothers are already demonstrating tremendous faith.
They continue praying, loving, trusting God, showing up.
The problem isn’t that faith is absent.
It’s that fear is making all the noise. You don’t need less fear to have faith.
You need to stop letting fear define what your faith means.
If you’re ready to find more peace, strengthen your relationship with your child, and stop carrying this burden alone, I’d love to talk with you.
Schedule your free coaching call here
You don’t have to know how the story ends.
Faith doesn’t require that. Faith simply asks. Can I trust God with the next page?