Have you ever had one of those moments when you wonder, God, where are You? What are You doing? How is this going to turn out?
Maybe your adult child is making choices you never expected. Perhaps their relationship with the Church has changed. You have prayed, worried, hoped, and tried to figure out what you should say or do next.
When you are right in the middle of it, trusting God with your adult child can feel much harder than talking about trusting Him.
That is one reason I love Nehemiah 9.
This chapter gives us a beautiful reminder for those times when we cannot see what God is doing: remember what He has already done.
If you are struggling to find peace with your child’s choices, I would love to talk with you. Schedule a free Find Connection and Peace Call with me here
Together, we can look at what is keeping you stuck in fear and help you begin finding peace, even before anything changes.
What Nehemiah 9 Teaches Us About Trusting God
Before we get into Nehemiah 9, a little backstory helps.
The book takes place near the end of the Old Testament timeline. Jerusalem had been conquered by Babylon, the temple had been destroyed, and many of the people of Judah had been carried into captivity.
Years later, Jewish exiles were allowed to return. The temple was eventually rebuilt, but Jerusalem’s walls were still in ruins.
Nehemiah, a Jew living in Persia, heard about the condition of Jerusalem. Heartbroken by the news, he fasted and prayed. Eventually, he received permission from the king to return to Jerusalem and help rebuild the wall.
Yet Nehemiah 9 isn’t really about rebuilding a wall.
It’s about remembering a God who had never stopped showing up.
Remember Who God Has Always Been
In Nehemiah 9:5–8, the people begin by remembering who God is.
They remember that He created everything. They remember Abraham and the covenant God made with him. Most importantly, they remember that God kept His promises.
That matters because sometimes we judge God’s faithfulness by what we can see today.
Maybe your child’s life doesn’t look the way you thought it would.
Years of prayers may seem unanswered. You might even find yourself thinking, But I did everything I knew how to do. Why is this happening?
Nehemiah 9 invites us to zoom out.
Instead of evaluating God’s goodness from one unfinished chapter, we can look back and remember all the places He has already shown up.
Your circumstances today do not determine God’s faithfulness.
What Are Your Red Seas?
Next, the people remember the Red Sea.
They remember how God saw their suffering in Egypt. He heard their cries, divided the sea, led them with a cloud and fire, and provided food when they needed it.
Essentially, they are collecting evidence of God’s faithfulness.
We can do the same thing.
What are your Red Seas?
Think about a time when you couldn’t see a way forward, but somehow a way appeared. Consider a prayer that was answered differently than you expected. Remember the person who showed up at exactly the right time or the strength you received when you were certain you couldn’t handle one more thing.
Looking backward often helps us see God’s hand more clearly.
Meanwhile, fear wants us to collect different evidence.
Fear points out everything that could go wrong. It tells us to watch our children more closely, predict what might happen next, and solve problems that haven’t even happened.
Remembering interrupts that pattern.
When your mind says, What if this doesn’t work out? you can also ask, Where has God already been faithful to me?
Your Child Can Wander Without Being Abandoned
Then Nehemiah 9 gets incredibly human.
The Israelites had witnessed miracles. They had watched the Red Sea part. They had received food from heaven.
Still, they forgot.
They wandered. They rebelled. At times, they even wanted to return to Egypt.
As a mom, that part of the story may feel surprisingly familiar.
You might think, My child knows better. I taught them. They’ve felt the Spirit. They’ve had spiritual experiences. How can they choose something so different now?
Israel had spiritual experiences too.
Yet their wandering did not exhaust God’s mercy.
Nehemiah 9 reminds us that God is gracious, merciful, patient, and compassionate. Verse 19 explains that because of His great compassion, He did not abandon His people.
I think that is something every mom needs to hear.
Your child’s wandering does not mean God has stopped being aware of them.
Their path does not cancel His mercy. Likewise, their choices do not exhaust His patience.
We are human, so our patience may run thin. God’s does not.
God Is Faithful Even When We Are Inconsistent
Verses 22–31 reveal a repeating cycle.
God blesses His people. They prosper. Eventually, they forget. Trouble comes, and they cry out to Him again.
Then God hears them.
He delivers them.
Later, they wander again.
Once more, He responds with mercy.
Do you see what is happening?
The message isn’t that Israel was always faithful, so God remained faithful.
Israel was inconsistent. God remained faithful.
That distinction changes the way we can think about trusting God with our adult children.
Sometimes we unknowingly make God’s goodness dependent on our child’s choices.
When they come back to church, I’ll know God heard my prayers.
Or when they make different choices, I’ll finally be okay.
When this gets resolved, then I can have peace.
But what if God’s faithfulness is already present while the story is still unfinished?
You Don't Have to Wait for the Ending to Find Peace
Toward the end of Nehemiah 9, something shifts.
After remembering God’s faithfulness throughout their history, the people finally turn toward their current circumstances.
They remember first.
Then they face what is happening now.
What a beautiful model for us.
Instead of beginning our prayers with, Heavenly Father, please fix my child, perhaps sometimes we could begin with:
Heavenly Father, I remember.
I remember when You carried me.
And I remember prayers You answered.
I remember the times You worked things out differently, and often more beautifully, than I expected.
I remember the people You placed in my life.
Most importantly, I remember who You have shown Yourself to be.
This doesn’t mean pretending everything is fine. Instead, it means viewing today’s uncertainty through the lens of God’s past faithfulness.
Maybe God Is Rebuilding Something in You
Nehemiah went to Jerusalem to rebuild a wall.
However, by chapter 9, something much more important was being rebuilt: trust in God.
Maybe there is something here for us too.
It’s easy to focus so much on our child’s relationship with God that we overlook what He might be doing in our own relationship with Him.
What if this season is teaching you to trust Him differently?
Perhaps you’re learning that you don’t have to know every detail of your child’s story. Maybe you’re discovering that love doesn’t require control. You may even be learning that peace doesn’t have to wait until everyone you love makes the choices you hope they’ll make.
Your child’s story can still be unfolding while your relationship with God deepens.
Those two things can happen at the same time.
Remember, Recognize, and Release
When fear about your child starts getting loud, Nehemiah 9 gives us three simple things to practice.
Remember what God has done.
Look for your Red Seas. Write them down. Notice the prayers He has answered and the wildernesses He has already walked through with you.
Recognize who God is.
He is gracious and merciful. His patience is bigger than yours or mine. Above all, He remains faithful when His children wander.
Release the need to know exactly how the story ends.
You don’t have to say the perfect thing or to convince.
You don’t have to manipulate the outcome or make someone choose differently.
Instead, you can love your child and continue trusting God with the parts of their story you cannot control.
Trusting God With Your Adult Child Starts With Remembering
Maybe today you can’t see what God is doing.
That’s okay.
Look backward for a moment.
Has He already walked you through a wilderness?
Did He answer a prayer in a way you never expected?
Has there been a Red Sea in your life where you once thought, There is absolutely no way through this, and somehow He made a way?
Remember those moments.
Nehemiah 9 isn’t a story about how faithful Israel was. It’s a story about how faithful God was and how faithful He still is.
Your child’s story isn’t finished.
Neither is yours.
You don’t have to figure out the ending today. You can remember what God has already done, recognize who He has always been, and begin releasing the parts of the story that were never yours to control.
If trusting God with your adult child feels hard right now, let’s talk.
Schedule a free Find Connection and Peace Call with me.
We’ll talk about what’s happening in your relationship, where fear may be getting in the way, and how you can begin creating more peace and connection without waiting for your child to change.
Peace doesn’t have to come after everything works out.
It can begin right here, in the middle of the unfinished story.