If you read my last post about The Reality Creation Formula for Christian Moms, you know we talked about how our thoughts create our emotions, and our emotions drive our results. It’s a powerful truth — one that helps us find peace even when life (and our children’s choices) don’t go exactly as we hoped.
But today, let’s zoom in on one specific part of that formula — the part that often feels … a little uncomfortable.
Let’s talk about feelings.
Those wild, sometimes messy, always-human thing.
The truth is, learning to feel your feelings is one of the most freeing, healing things you can ever do.
Think of it as stretching your heart muscle.
“Good” and “Bad” Feelings
Somewhere along the way, many of us got the idea that emotions are either good or bad. Joy, peace, and gratitude go in one bucket. Guilt, fear, and sadness? Straight into the, let’s ignore, or do better so we don’t feel these feelings bucket.
But emotions aren’t good or bad, they’re messengers, not mistakes.
Feeling sadness doesn’t mean you lack faith. Feeling anger doesn’t mean you’re un-Christlike. Disappointment doesn’t mean you’re failing as a mom.
It just means … you’re human. A deeply feeling, divinely designed human being.
Why You Can’t Think Your Way Out of a Feeling
If you’ve ever tried to “positive think” your way out of sadness, you know it doesn’t quite work.
That’s because feelings live in the body, not the brain.
When something happens — like your child makes a decision that breaks your heart — your mind interprets it through a story, and your body reacts with emotion. Maybe your chest feels heavy, your stomach tightens, or your throat gets hot.
Most of us want to jump straight to fixing it:
“I shouldn’t feel this way.”
“I just need to be grateful.”
“If I had more faith, I wouldn’t be upset.”
- What do I need to do to fix this “problem”
But here’s the thing: you can’t heal what you won’t feel.
When you give yourself permission to feel instead of fight your emotions, they soften. They move through you. They teach you something.
That’s where the magic happens.
Feeling your feelings isn’t hard, it is 2 simple steps and the best part … it doesn’t take a lot of time.
Step One: Name It to Tame It
When you name it, you take it out of the shadows and bring it into the light — and once it’s in the light, it loses power.
Sometimes when we name our feelings we are actually sharing a thought. To keep that from happening just remember your feeling is one word.
Sad, happy, excited, nervous, worried, afraid, hopeful, despair, calm, frantic, overwhelmed, heavy, peace …
Not a whole sentence.
I could do better, there is so much going on, life is not going the way I planned …
To start you need to name that feeling. ONE WORD.
Step Two: Feel It to Heal It
Once you’ve named your emotion, it’s time to locate it.
Where is it in your body. It will be different for everyone. Is it in your chest, your arms or hands, your stomach?
Now picture it. Is it heavy, does it move, does it have a shape or color?
Let’s walk though what this step might look like. For me a common feeling I have is overwhelm. It shows up in my stomach and feels more light than heavy like a swooshing cloud moving from side to side. Not calm like waves in the ocean but a very fast moving storm cloud moving from side to side.
Different feelings are more in my solar plexus or chest. You might experience the sensation in your arms or hand.
Does your chest feel tight?
Is your throat hot?
Are your shoulders tense?
- Do your hands tingle?
Take a slow breath in through your nose and out through your mouth.
You don’t have to fix it or understand it. Just be with it.
Feelings are like waves — when you stop fighting the current, they naturally pass. The average emotion lasts about 90 seconds when fully felt. Ninety seconds!
Why Feeling the Feelings Matter
Ignoring or stuffing down our feelings is like holding a beach ball under water. You can do it for awhile but eventually it will pop out.
And it is messy. My experience is ‘I’m keeping it together’ then something small happens and I loose it.
Or we shame ourselves.
“I shouldn’t be upset.”
“This isn’t Christlike.”
“Other moms are managing.”
God gave us emotions as part of our human experience. Jesus Himself felt deep sorrow, compassion, joy, and even righteous anger.
When you approach your emotions with kindness, you align with divine love — not against it.
Try speaking to yourself the way you’d comfort a child:
“Sweetheart, it’s okay to feel sad. Let’s just breathe together for a minute.”
That gentle compassion transforms pain into peace.
Repeat When Necessary
Once you’ve named and allowed the feeling, it begins to move. Sometimes it brings insight — sometimes it just passes quietly.
But you’ll notice a lightness afterward. A calm in your chest. Maybe even a sense of gratitude for having made space for it.
The goal isn’t to avoid negative feelings; it’s to trust that you can handle them.
That’s emotional maturity. That’s spiritual strength.
And that’s how peace grows — one felt feeling at a time.
But be warned just because you feel that feeling doesn’t mean it wont return. It might be next week or a few hours later. Just name it again and feel it again.
It might sound something like this: I see you overwhelm. You’re just a feeling that is moving through my nervous system. I acknowledge you and I feel you. Or … there you are again overwhelm, close your eyes and take a few cleansing breathes.
The Reality Creation Formula in Action
Remember in the Reality Creation Formula how we talked about thoughts creating emotions, and emotions creating results?
This practice — naming and feeling your emotions — is how you work inside that formula.
Instead of reacting automatically, you’re slowing down and allowing yourself to experience life consciously. You’re letting your emotions inform you, not control you.
That’s what creates peace, even when the circumstances haven’t changed.
Bonus
Here’s the fun bonus: when you open yourself up to feel sadness or fear, you also open yourself to feel more joy, more love, and more gratitude.
You can’t selectively numb emotions. When you allow one, you make room for them all — especially the good ones.
So next time you feel something bubbling up — whether it’s frustration, sadness, or worry — take a breath.
Name it. Feel it. Love yourself through it.
Because peace doesn’t come from perfect circumstances. It comes from emotional honesty wrapped in divine kindness.
And that’s the kind of peace that truly heals.
Final Thought
If this post touched your heart, share it with another mom who could use a little light and peace today.
And if you’re ready to take the next step toward creating calm — not just in your thoughts, but in your heart and home — I’d love to invite you to schedule a free clarity call with me. Together, we’ll gently uncover what’s weighing on your heart and find simple, faith-centered ways to move toward peace.
For daily encouragement, uplifting faith-based messages, and real-life coaching inspiration, come join me on Instagram and Facebook @sheryleekartchnercoaching. Let’s grow in grace, faith, and calm — together