Have you ever found yourself praying the same prayer over and over?
“Heavenly Father, please help them come back. Please soften their heart. Please help me know what to do.”
Then the days turn into weeks. The weeks become months. Sometimes even years pass, and nothing seems to change.
If you’re the mother of an adult child whose choices have taken a different path than you hoped or prayed for, you know how heavy that waiting can feel. You may wonder if God hears your prayers or if you’re somehow missing the right words.
President Henry B. Eyring’s General Conference message, “Prayers for Peace,” offers a beautiful reminder that changes everything: peace doesn’t have to wait until your circumstances do.
Jesus Promised Peace Before Everything Was Okay
John 14:27:
“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you… Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”
Notice what Jesus did not say.
He didn’t promise peace after every prayer was answered.
He didn’t promise peace once every child made perfect choices.
Instead, He offered His peace to disciples who were about to experience some of the hardest moments of their lives.
That same promise is available to us today.
Many of us quietly believe we can’t feel peace until our child changes. We tell ourselves:
- I’ll finally breathe when they come back to church.
- I’ll feel better when they call.
- I’ll have peace when they stop making choices that scare me.
Without realizing it, we place our emotional peace in someone else’s hands. Yet God has given every one of His children agency, and He never asks us to carry responsibility for another person’s choices.
What Story Are You Telling Yourself?
One of the coaching tools I teach is the Reality Creation Formula.
It begins by separating facts from the stories our minds create.
For example:
Fact: My child is not attending church.
That fact is neutral.
Then our brain adds meaning:
“They’re lost forever.”
That thought creates fear.
Which leads to behaviors like over-texting, lecturing, worrying, losing sleep, or trying to control things we cannot control. Eventually, those actions affect the relationship we want so desperately to protect, we are loosing our relationship with them.
Now consider a different thought:
“Heavenly Father loves my child even more than I do.”
The fact hasn’t changed.
However, the feeling changes.
Hope replaces fear.
Trust begins to replace panic.
Our behaviors are, we listen more carefully, love more freely, and show up with greater peace.
Creating a reality we create more love for our children.
That doesn’t mean life suddenly becomes easy. It means you become different while you’re walking through it.
Prayer Is About Connection, Not Control
President Eyring teaches that faithful Saints throughout the world have “flooded heaven with prayers” for help, comfort, direction, and peace.
Isn’t that exactly what we do?
When our hearts are breaking, when we don’t know what tomorrow holds.
When we can’t fix the people we love, we pray.
Sometimes, though, our prayers become negotiations.
“Please change them.”
“Please fix this.”
Those prayers aren’t wrong.
Yet what if we also prayed something different?
- Heavenly Father, help me love today.
- Help me trust You today.
- Please help me see my child the way You see them.
- Help me know my next right step.
Those are prayers God can answer immediately because they change our hearts while we continue trusting Him with someone else’s agency.
When You Don't Know What to Say
There have been seasons in my own life when I didn’t have the words.
Sometimes my prayer was simply:
“Help.”
Other times I placed my hand over my heart and quietly trusted that my Heavenly Parents knew exactly what I couldn’t express.
President Eyring reminds us that opening the windows of heaven doesn’t require perfect language or beautiful words.
God isn’t grading our prayers.
He is listening to our hearts.
That truth became the reason I created my Free Prayer Prompts.
These aren’t scripted prayers.
They’re gentle prompts that help you put words around what already lives in your heart. Each prompt includes a Bible verse, a Book of Mormon scripture, and an inspiring quote to help you draw closer to Heavenly Father when life feels especially heavy.
A Continual Prayer
One of my favorite statements from President Eyring is:
“The feelings of your heart can be so constant that your prayers will ascend always.”
I love that image.
A continual prayer doesn’t mean kneeling beside your bed every minute of the day.
It can happen while you’re folding laundry.
Driving to work. Walking outside. Lying awake in the middle of the night.
Instead of letting worry take over, you quietly turn your heart toward God.
That’s continual prayer.
It’s a relationship rather than a routine
Peace Doesn't Mean Life Is Easy
Finding peace doesn’t mean every problem disappears.
Your child may still choose a different path.
The waiting may continue.
Even so, your heart can become lighter.
President Eyring reminds us that consistent prayer during joyful seasons and difficult seasons “will surely be rewarded according to His will and perfect timing.”
Prayer isn’t reserved for emergencies.
Instead, it builds a relationship with Heavenly Father before the storms arrive. Then, when life becomes difficult, you already know where to turn.
Peace Is Available Today
Perhaps your circumstances won’t change this week.
Maybe they won’t change this year.
Your child may continue exercising their agency in ways that are painful to watch.
Even so, Jesus continues extending the same invitation He gave His disciples:
“My peace I give unto you.”
That peace isn’t reserved for some future day when everything works out.
It is available today.
If prayer feels difficult right now, or you’ve struggled to find the words, I’d love to give you my Free Prayer Prompts. They were created for moments just like these, when your heart feels full but your words feel few.
And if you’re ready for personal support as you navigate the heartache of an adult child’s choices, I’d love to help.