I think a lot of LDS women are secretly exhausted.
They believe God is waiting for them to finally do enough.
Enough praying, have enough faith, study scriptures enough.
Have enough patience, don’t forget be perfect at parenting.
Many women quietly live with the fear that if they just try harder, maybe then they’ll deserve grace.
And honestly, that belief is crushing women.
No matter how hard they try, they still feel spiritually behind.
But what if we’ve misunderstood what “after all we can do” actually means?
Because I don’t think God ever intended that scripture to leave women feeling hopeless or ashamed when life gets heavy.
In a recent General Conference talk, President Patrick Kearon said:
“If you are prone to worry that you will never measure up… you misunderstand. Infinite means infinite. Infinite covers you and those you love.”
That changes the feeling of grace completely.
Instead of asking:
“Am I enough?”
Maybe we should ask:
“Am I letting Christ help me?”
Episode #22 In this podcast episode, we explore the real meaning of “after all we can do,” grace, surrender, trusting God, and letting go of the pressure to carry everything alone.
Are You Carrying Burdens God Never Asked You to Carry?
Many women are trying so hard while carrying responsibilities God never asked them to carry.
Especially mothers.
Women often feel responsible for everyone’s choices, testimonies, healing, and spiritual outcomes. They carry the emotional weight of their children, marriages, and eternal families as if everything depends on them.
President Russell M. Nelson asked a powerful question in General Conference:
“Are you willing to let God prevail in your life?”
Notice what he did not ask.
He didn’t ask:
Can you control everyone’s choices, fix every relationship?
Can you guarantee perfect outcomes?
He simply asked:
Are you willing to let God prevail?
That feels very different.
If you want help letting go of the burdens you were never asked to carry, lets talk. On a FREE finding connection and peace call.
Why “After All We Can Do” Feels So Heavy
I think many of us hear the phrase:
“Saved by grace after all we can do”
like there is always more we should be doing.
Read more.
Pray more.
Try harder.
Don’t mess up.
Then maybe Christ fills the gap at the very end.
As a result, many women live spiritually white-knuckled.
You know that feeling when you’re driving through a storm and gripping the steering wheel so tightly your shoulders ache?
You lean forward, your jaw tightens and your whole body feels tense.
Not because gripping harder changes the storm, but because fear convinces you control equals safety.
Spiritually, many women are living exactly like that.
They white-knuckle their children, faith, worthiness, and future because they’re terrified that if they relax for one second, everything will fall apart.
After a while, they don’t even realize how tense they’ve become.
Instead of peace, they feel anxious.
Pressure instead of trust.
Instead of confidence in God, they feel fear of failing Him.
What the Scriptures Never Say
“Be perfect before Christ helps you.”
Over and over, the scriptures point us toward willingness.
Elder Neal A. Maxwell taught:
“The submission of one’s will is really the only uniquely personal thing we have to place on God’s altar.”
That quote changes everything.
You can give God your church attendance, service, scripture study, and calling responsibilities. Yet your will is different.
Your will is deeply personal.
It includes your trust, surrender, desires, and willingness to say:
“God, I don’t understand this life, but I’m willing to let You walk through it with me.”
God does not force surrender.
He does not force trust.
And He does not force relationship.
Many women think they’re supposed to hand God perfect outcomes.
Perfect kids, perfect faith, perfect families. Many I have a strong dislike to the word perfect.
But God is not asking for guaranteed results.
He’s asking for your willing heart.
Now, sometimes life feels so heavy that willingness and capacity do not fully align. That does not mean you’re failing spiritually.
Sometimes faith simply looks like staying turned toward God while struggling with what He’s asking you to carry.
The One Phrase That Changes Everything
There is one scripture that completely changes the feeling of “after all we can do.”
In Book of Mormon Omni 1:26 we read:
“Come unto him, and offer your whole souls as an offering unto him.”
Notice what that scripture does not say.
It does not say:
Come unto Christ once you’ve fixed yourself.
Or come unto Him once your family is perfect.
Come unto Him once you’ve finally done enough.
Instead, it says:
Offer your whole soul.
Not your polished perfect soul.
Your whole soul.
The grieving parts, the exhausted parts, the confused parts.
The hopeful parts.
Even the parts still wrestling with God.
That’s what “after all we can do” really means.
It’s not about performing our way into grace.
It’s about bringing our honest heart to Christ and letting Him meet us there.
Many women believe “all we can do” means gripping tighter.
Trying harder.
Controlling more.
Fixing everything.
But maybe God was never asking us to white-knuckle our way to heaven.
Maybe He’s asking us to loosen our grip enough to let Him carry us.
Elder Neal A. Maxwell also taught:
“When we finally submit ourselves… we are really giving something to Him.”
Surrender is not weakness.
It’s trust.
Why So Many LDS Women Feel Spiritually Exhausted
I think many women are exhausted because they’re trying to do God’s job for Him.
They try to rescue adult children.
Force healing.
Prevent pain.
Hold eternity together with their bare hands.
Underneath all of that effort is fear.
“If I loosen my grip, everything will fall apart.”
Yet white-knuckling the steering wheel during a storm only drains your strength. Eventually, your hands ache, your shoulders tighten, and your entire body feels exhausted from trying to control something you were never actually controlling in the first place.
Meanwhile, God is gently saying:
“You can loosen your grip.
I’m still here.”
President Russell M. Nelson taught:
“When your greatest desire is to let God prevail… so many decisions become easier.”
Life does not suddenly become painless.
However, you stop carrying responsibilities that were never yours to carry alone.
Maybe that is the real truth about “after all we can do.”
Maybe it was never meant to mean:
carry impossible weight.
Maybe it simply means:
keep turning toward Christ.
Again.
And again.
And again.
God Was Never Asking You to Save Yourself
If you feel spiritually tired, behind, or weighed down by guilt, please hear this clearly:
God is not asking you to save yourself.
He is not asking you to control everyone’s agency.
He is not asking you to earn His love through exhaustion.
And He is not asking you to become perfect before receiving grace.
President Patrick Kearon said:
“The intent of the Father’s great plan of happiness is not to keep you out, but to get you in.”
That changes everything.
Maybe “after all we can do” simply means:
Give Him your willing heart.
Trust Him a little more today.
Keep coming back when life hurts.
That’s it.
And the beautiful thing about grace is this:
Christ meets us there.
Not after we become flawless.
Right in the middle of our trying.